Except right now I am so lost. I feel like I am in a free fall with everything Cisco. I have not had the chance to touch anything for almost four weeks. I don’t even know where to begin again. Have I lost everything I have learned already? Do I go back and watch the Internetwork Expert COD’s once more? Do I start the workbook over? My biggest problem right now is that I get a few days of lab work in and then bam I am out of it for weeks. With the baby due in August, work, life in general I feel like I am losing ground every minute. I am a creature of momentum! I need to be continuous with everything I do or I lose the will to do it. I am not a person that can do something every few days and feel like I am actually getting something out of it.

One of the biggest problems is at work. I don’t get to touch Cisco every day anymore. With the MPLS network and our provider doing the routing all I do is watch our usage and bandwidth. The biggest thing I have done in weeks was configure NTP on everything for the sake of logging. Outside of that I am doing nothing with Cisco. I feel like I am just becoming a simple manager. I purchase items we need more than I handle the network which I guess means it is configured and running correctly. Writing and signing purchase orders though does nothing for the brain.

Once I am home I am either mentally worn down from all the trivial mental tasks of the day to do anything or I have to work on things around the house. The wife is becoming very limited in what she can do so I have to pick up more of the slack and that is only going to get worse.

Each day that passes I grow more frustrated as well. I honestly don’t want to go back and watch the COD again, I don’t want to go over mindless, countless hours of lecture I already did. Is it good I find a lot of the stuff they teach boring as hell? It is the easy things I seem to lose track of, such as when to use an access list, when to use a prefix list, why to use either or ? When to use a route-map instead of just using the redistribute command or redistribute static or connected… UGH

Maybe I have just put too much pressure on myself and had a time table that was not achievable in the first place when it came to the lab.

I really need to get to the center of my being and find out what is there…